YT Critiques – Irish Football Fans Fix a Car

Once again I feel compelled to state that YouTube is definitely not television. To further the notion consider this video featuring Irish football fans and a car with a dented roof. It’s short, simple and pointless to a degree, and yet it adequately captures the depths to which YouTube content can be so serendipitous and voyeuristic. These qualities offer a new paradigm in modern culture. Video content is no longer the domain of those who partake in extensive planning and staging. Video can now exist on the basis of unforeseen whims by those who have a mobile device on hand. Of course such amateurism is clearly present in this video by the lack of any narration, backstory, or context. And that’s to say nothing about the shoddy camera work seen in the early portion of the clip, as unidentified persons stick cash notes inside a car door as a gesture of goodwill towards its owner.

But then something strange happens. As the camera slowly pans to get a different perspective, a quasi-rhythmic pounding is heard in the distance. This is later accompanied by a joyous chant of “For the boys in green, fix the car” as several men starting pounding the roof around the dent. One man is even seen pointing at certain spots to hit as if he were a practitioner of some ancient, esoteric ritual. The video of course ends not long after the boisterous celebration that ensues once the dent is completely popped out. The rousing emotional intensity of this moment does plenty to explain why the video was uploaded, while also suggesting a new reality for our world, one in which few engrossing events, even those of a seemingly trivial significance, can go uncaptured.

YT Critiques – Smack the Pony – Architects

To date I have never considered YouTube as something akin to television. For me YouTube is too chaotic and anarchistic to be seen as analogous to traditional broadcast television. And yet this is what I find most fascinating about the medium; the fact that anyone could post video content about anything onto the platform (well at least confined to YouTube’s content policies, of course). In addition to this YouTube is adorned with some of the Internet’s most recognizable features, like the user comment section and the search box. To me there is a rather subtle revolutionary aspect to the search box that I still feel is largely understated and unappreciated. For embedded within this particular feature is a novel idea; that one has the ability to seek and find the content that they wish to consume. On the Internet one is not merely relegated to consume what is offered to them by the corporate administrators of the medium. The search box allows the Internet to take a modest step away from the latent, idle passivity that TV would demand. Simply put Internet content is meant to be found and discovered in ways that TV content is not.

YT Critiques – The Turbo Encabulator

(Screenshot image taken from the YouTube account of 'Dave Rondot')

The cinematographic approach was relatively unostentatious relaying efficiently on the same shot that vacillated between a close up view and a more distant perspective, with the latter offering the visual perceptibility of various unidentified mechanical parts of a possible automotive nature, a blackboard with an animated image of a Catalytic Converter cryptically placed amongst a series of unintelligible hand-written notes and most prominently a label-less diagram of some inscrutable technological object of unknown origin or purpose.

Any delectation in the video must arise from Bud Haggart in his role as the presenter of this rousing, burgeoning scientific advancement. Haggart spoke with an unassailable authority and indefatigable self-confidence that was wonderfully juxtapositioned against his somatic performance, which saw Haggart beautifully turn his head promptly at conductors and fluxes, and faintly raise his eyebrow at magneto reluctance and spurving bearings. At numerous junctures he would even gesture towards the diagram without any insinuation of incertitude.

Haggart never prompted the viewer to cerebrate his dominion over the subject manner, which was largely achieved due to the suave and perfectly polished manner in which he delivered the presentation’s sophisticated diction. This was no trifling undertaking given that the wording was such an opaque concoction of technical and enigmatically dense terminology that it would easily daunt and demean the public layman with its abstruse intelligence.

Initially there was a rather beguiling quality in how fastidious Haggart was in his disquisition, that is until such verisimilitude was broken at the mentioning of a ‘lunar waneshaft’, a phrase that ever so coyly suggested the satirically fraudulent nature of the work. Towards those who are not sufficiently conversant in technical and scientific matters, the lecture could be perceived as a cruel one in that it first bludgeoned the viewer with its imposing, impenetrable complexity before it ultimately ridiculed them for their attentiveness.

The World Cup of Cinema - Bhutan

Travellers and Magicians 

(Screen capture image taken from a Prayer Flag Pictures production/ Distributed by Zeitgeist Films)

The date was June 11th, 2019. The location was Guam, an island territory in the Western Pacific. A football match was played between two teams in which the Guam national football team won 5-0 advancing to the next round of the Asian qualifiers. This match occurred in the nascent stages of what was eventually a 3 year process; one that was impacted by acts of terrorism, months of hysteria over a global pandemic, a volcanic eruption, and geo-political warfare. And that’s before one gets to the typical shithousery that occurs during World Cup qualifying.

The World Cup of Cinema - Wales

Rebecca’s Daughters 

(Screen capture image taken from a co-production between Astralma Erste Filmproduktions and Chris Sievernich)

I don’t know how much of this might be the result of prejudiced English wankers, but in any case I found the distribution of Welsh cinema to be rather poor. Take for instance the 1992 film Hedd Wyn. Paul Turner’s anti-war biopic was the first (and so far only) full length Welsh language film to be nominated for an Oscar. This likely lead Fox Lorber to acquire the US rights and release a VHS copy of the film through Orion Home Video in the mid 1990s. No further release of this film has ever been issued in the US. The fact that a film that could easily be considered a landmark achievement in Welsh cinema has been left to languish in VHS purgatory, should illustrate what I’m up against here. While there are VHS copies of this film in libraries near where I live, currently I’m not willing to haul a VCR and video monitor into a library just to watch a film, … … not yet anyway.